I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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