why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
