Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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