Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
