moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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