pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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