I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
