drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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