Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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