its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
