I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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