Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
