wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We had to coat check the pizza.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
