your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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