Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
