We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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