Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
