im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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