Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
