it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
