I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
