he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
