Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
