Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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