I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
