Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
