life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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