dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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