State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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