His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
