the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
