her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My breasts were aching with rage.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
