how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
