a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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