maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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