I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
