His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
