Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
