"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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