your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
You peed on a flamingo?!?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize