is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
