Plan B is the new Plan A
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
