it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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