lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
