At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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