addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
