If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
