I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
