the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
