Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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