we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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